I Hate Goodbyes

In life I face awkward moments a lot. Small talk is something I personally have not mastered and I definitely feel I'm such a horrible conversationalist. I love injecting advice when I should be listening or telling self involved stories making the conversation very one-sided.



My biggest awkward moments has to be the goodbye moments.. especially in large groups where I find myself playing a round-robin game of handshakes, hugs, kisses on cheeks or my famous standoff-ish goodbye wave. I do that latter the best. I've had years of experience just doing that weird and shy wave goodbye.

I suppose it boils down to the difficulty of deciphering what goodbye option to choose. I know I'm overthinking the moment, especially the handshake. How firm do I go? I don't want them to think I'm trying to pull some sort of power play nor leave them telling their friends that they thought I wanted him to kiss my hand with a weak grip. Or does the handshake somehow transform into a bro hug all of a sudden and how long do you hold it for? I definitely know if my bro hug turned into some sort of cuddling action, it's gone too far.

The worse part of the handshake is when you're not informed that it's gone from a simple handshake to a secret combination of martial art moves that you weren't informed of. I find myself fumbling through, adding cartwheels and high kicks in hope that they don't notice I lost my way after the initial grip.

The other big confusion for me is the goodbye hug. Well confusion would be the wrong word. I think I'm just an awkward hugger. Even when I look at my own wedding videos and I'm still awkwardly hugging my own wife wearing the face of confusion and eyes that are looking at her for reassurance. I'm sure I reek of a non hugger anyways, which is why most girls choose to go with the goodbye wave... which has served me well.

I've also been thrown amongst the cheek to cheek air kisses where I'm hoping not to head butt her or slap her cheek with mine. Or worse, when the cheeks don't make contact and you think hmmm is she still waiting and you hang around for too long and she thinks you're sniffing her hair like a creep.

Maybe it just boils down to me and the fact I'm socially awkward. I might just crawl back to the rock I've been hiding under.






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I suddenly feel the tides turning. A yearn for something better in my life. I'm hoping for big changes in my career, maybe the touch of my first born and the ongoing rollercoaster of my marriage.

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I've spent my whole life being the son my parents wanted me to be. I studied hard, went through the different levels of the school system and then I'm now 30. I married a beautiful girl, trying to pay off a mortgage, and have a bucket list of things I want to do which don't involve work.

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